3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
