And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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