I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
