Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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