If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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