Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
