Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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