I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
