I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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