I faked an abortion last night.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
