jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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