Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
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