At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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