we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
How external is "for external use only"?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
