Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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