We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
