The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
