How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just puked most of my soul out..
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
