Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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