you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
