We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
i think my cat just said my name.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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