How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
