There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
