You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Dick very happy bro
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
