Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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