He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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