After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
