I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
