Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
