He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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