I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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