What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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