Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
