i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize