We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize