If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
