I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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