"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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