What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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