I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
