If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
