I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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