I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
