we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
