The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
