i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
