We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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