I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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