you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
