Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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