My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize