who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
