You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
