i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We're not piercing ourselves today.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
