i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
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