i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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