he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize