his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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