Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
