Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
