Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
