margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
