Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
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You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
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He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
FUCK WHALES
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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