quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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