i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
