I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
