from now on my penis is your penis
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
How naked do you want me to be?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
