Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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