im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
