Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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