I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
