So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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