tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
