they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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